if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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