I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
