Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
