PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
