"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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