So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
