This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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