you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
