just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
