Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
