He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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