There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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