Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
