so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
