Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize