Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
