DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
dude. I can hear the air.
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