Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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