so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
