where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
