There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
