Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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