she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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