If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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