You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
