its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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