dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
