I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
