I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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