my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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