Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize