Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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