Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Pooping to opera.
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