Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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