I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
