can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
zippers are such a cool invention
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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