ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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