Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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