Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
