i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
