look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
