i dont even know how to be here
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
