im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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