apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
