Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
