just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
