One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
