I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
