so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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