booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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