My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
