talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Fuck me I smell like cheese
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
