Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
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