HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
