sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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