if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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