you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
