you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize