That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
