Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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