How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
