like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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