She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
