Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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