Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I didn't notice because vodka
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
